Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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