i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
