my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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