I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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