drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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