Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
