i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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