i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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