After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
