at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
