I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
