Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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