No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize