she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
