I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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