.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize