I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
