so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How does one acquire holy water?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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