I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
