She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
COCAINE IS GR8
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
