So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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