How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
