I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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