You're my little dorito
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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