it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
