I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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