"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
