everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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