please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
