i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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