I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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