how can u be prego again
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
