Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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