we made out on top of his cat.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
