its not stalking. its research.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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