i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
