He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
