i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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