Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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