Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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