My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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