You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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