I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
