i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
