I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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