id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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