it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
