Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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