I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
