No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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