It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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