So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
