Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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