3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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