Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
In other news, I just burned my penis
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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