Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sarcasm needs its own font
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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