it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
