Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
