totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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