so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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