I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize