My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
