Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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